Bureaucrat Beat: Nowhere Code, Voodoo Tycoons, and Zebra Shoes

We in the Bureaucrat Beat Newsroom feel that state and federal governments should approve code sections calle

“Nowhere”. Within that section, find bizarro requirements like the local favorite “Sidewalks to Nowhere” (You can see them in Independence and Bishop) and now the new, never before seen “Ramps to Nowhere” planned for Bishop.

This new code section would, well, codify the bureaucratic concepts that make no sense in the real world. We’re sure many such provisos exist. One could also call this new code “Catch 22”. The bureaucratic mind says to itself, this project requires wider streets, so therefore it must require sidewalks (never mind that they lead to nowhere). You get the idea.

The latest detachment from reality will appear in Bishop. Seems the City did get some stimulus money to replace pavement on part of Hanby Street. Caltrans, administrator of the federal money, required, perhaps on the state level, that Bishop install ramps on areas with no sidewalks. The expensive ramps will sit there on dirt!! When the City does build sidewalks, they will have to pull out the ramps. What a waste. Bishop Public Works Director Dave Grah called it “a shame.” He said they would do their best to make it work.

Here’s one more reason to make voodoo dolls in the form of Wall St. tycoons. (Sounds like a great Christmas gift.) Seems the recession has hit the postal service hard, which will likely mean the end of Saturday service. This week officials said that the postal service may lose as much as $8 billion this year. They have handled 28 billion fewer pieces of mail since the recession. Wow. We can’t even afford to by stamps while the fat cats buy caviar.

Troubles aside, we got a call the other day from someone in Mammoth who heard In-n-Out burger had come to Bishop in the Cottonwood Plaza. No go, guys. Forget about the visions of a Double-Double Cheeseburger.

For those who have expressed many different ideas for the Cottonwood Plaza area, remember, it’s private property and the landowners do have the last word. Zoning and some leadership pressure from the City could have a bit of impact.

Totally disgusted with the insurance company toadies, better known as senators and congressmen, we emailed the President this week. We told him he needs to whip down the insurance giants and give the people affordable health care. No nonsense about it. We got a form letter back. You know, you can just tell. President Obama did not use our names, he called us friend, and his letter did not address our complaint.

For those who have to chip their teeth over and over that they don’t want government health care, what in the world do they think Medicare is??!! It’s government-provided health care, for Heaven’s Sake.

Why not extend it to younger people? Hey, we would prefer that private enterprise do the job, but they’ve made it clear they want obscene profit, not health care. Since all the bla-bla-bla in Washington over health care reform, what have the insurance companies done? Come up with reasonable, less expensive plans to help people, you say? No way! Their new plans give less and take more. Get the point?

On a much lighter note (how much heavier could it get?), we like the LA Times Holiday Gift Guide A to Z. Our personal favorite? The Zebra Sequin Converse shoes. $85 at Nordstrom. Probably out of the question.

Then, there are polo shirts from Ralph Lauren – for your pet! Frankly, Tuxedo doesn’t care for Ralph Lauren. He prefers his own fur.

With that, this is Benett Kessler signing off for Bureaucrat Beat where we await your word on our lives in the Eastern Sierra and beyond.

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