Letter to the editor: “circus cubical logic”

Russ Monroe photographed what he said bureaucrats allege is a road that doesn’t exist.


My  frustration over the Forest Service’s current assault on our rights to access our own public lands sent me on a quest to understand how I, in my common citizen ignorance, could misunderstand so many statements from so many Circus employees over so many years.
Gosh, oh gee, I have been enlightened as to my own lack of comprehension of Circus Cubical Logic.
I’ll try to explain:
A common citizen asks many Circus employees; “ Are you planning any new road closures in my area?”
Circus people all say; “ No” This silly, ignorant, common citizen leaves thinking; no problem. Years later, when the Circus plan that he asked about is enacted: all of the roads in the area accept one are closed. The silly, ignorant, common citizen returns to Circus employees and asks “Why were the roads were closed when he was told No?”
Circus employees say: “We didn’t do any new road closures.”
Common Citizen says; “But, you closed the roads!”
Circus employees say: “Oh, no, you just don’t comprehend Circus Cubical Logic” “Those roads were already closed, decades ago!”
Common Citizen: “But I was driving on that road last week! I’ve been using that road every day for 35 years! It was not closed until last week!”
Circus employees: “ Nope, says right here, on two of the seven maps we have, that we closed those roads 17 years ago. So we didn’t close anything last week. We just put up barriers to stop common citizens from traveling on roads that haven’t existed for decades.”
Common Citizen: “But the road was open last week!”
Circus employees: “Oh silly common citizen, just because you travel on a road doesn’t mean it’s open! Just because we put up a new “welcome” sign on the the road every few years, doesn’t mean the road is open. The paper work in the Circus Cubical says that the road has been closed for decades, so, the road doesn’t exist. Look, those roads are not on our inventory list, so your obviously wrong. We didn’t do any new road closures.”
How can any Circus employee ever explain Circus truth to any ignorant common citizen when common citizens can’t understand that; open means closed and closed can’t happen because the paper says that there is no road.
I feel so enlightened! How could I have been so ignorant?
Oh, and to help all of you ignorant common citizens out there understand, I enclose a picture, taken two days ago, of one of those roads that haven’t existed for decades, taken while I was driving on it. Notice the nice, fairly new Circus entrance sign, on the road that I’m obviously not traveling on, because it does not exist. All HAIL Circus Cubical Logic! OBVIOUSLY, it is the real TRUTH!
Russ Monroe

5 Responses to Letter to the editor: “circus cubical logic”

  1. Jeremiah June 22, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    LOL hahaha

  2. the powers that be June 22, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    Just do what big business tell you to do – and shut up!

    Perhaps this is what the Republican slogan should be today.

  3. Greg Weirick June 25, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    Big Business? How about Big Govt? If you think the agenda driven closure of our Forest roads is bad, this is how your constitutional rights are going to be treated as soon as Progressive Socialism takes over and declares a police state! Be very concerned!

  4. Paranoia strikes deep June 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm #

    “beware of Progressive Socialism…”

    Indeed, the Limbaughites are everywhere today.

  5. Sean June 25, 2012 at 11:29 pm #

    Let’s close the roads into the FS stations with our vehicles for a day or two and see if that gets their attention. Nothing like a little civil disobedience to get some action. I for one am willing to spend a day in jail to protect our access to our lands. And by access I mean the ability to drive on those roads.


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